“Win or lose, take your shot”
I don’t know about all of you, but this has been a challenging week for me. The company I work for is struggling to remain afloat, I’ve watched dear friends get laid off from work, and I received a 1-star review on my newest book. (The reader said the actions of the killer were too gory…sigh).
And in light of all that has happened this week, I’m reminded of the above-referenced quote. Let me explain…
For many years, I worked for a stable company. The company was busy, loans were plentiful, and I worked with—and for—very dear friends. BUT…after a time, I became unhappy. I wondered what else waited for me out there. With a decision that shocked my husband and family, I decided to leave said job and explore. I aligned with a very small company, a “startup”, if you will, and after two years, the company has failed.
As sad as I am about this, the question remains: must I frame this experience as a failure? Must I consider my decisions wrong turns? The more I ponder this, the more I think I shouldn’t. Why? …Because I took my shot, plain and simple. I tried. I took a risk. It didn’t pay off. But in the end, I don’t regret my decision. And if, at the beginning, I would have known how it would end, I’m fairly certain I would have made the same choice. There’s something else to consider as well: what will this failure lead me to? Failures often lead to successes. Tim Ferriss, in his extremely popular podcast, asks a particular question of all of his guests. He asks, “What is your favorite failure? Name a failure that later led to a success. Name a situation that, at the time, seemed hopeless and depressing, but that later led to an amazing opportunity.” I understand why he asks this question. When someone is in the midst of a crippling failure, it’s difficult to see light at the end of the dark tunnel. It’s difficult to comprehend a positive result. But the truth of the matter, if you can see it, is this: things seem to work out in the end, and the most important thing to do is often to “take your shot”. Win or lose, you must try.
The creators of Twitter are all-too familiar with this. Down to their last dollar, many of their investors walked away from the project. They had invested time, energy, and passion into creating a company that never came to fruition. But what became of that failed investment? The amazing platform we now know as Twitter. The investors took their shot and seemingly failed, but that failure led to something bigger than they had imagined.
The same could be said about my writing pursuits. It’s difficult to put oneself “out there”, so to speak. To write something personal, spend 2 years perfecting it, and then release it into this judgmental world can be a harrowing if not terrifying experience. With one scathing remark, a reviewer can trash what took years to craft, (which is one of the reasons why I won’t write negative reviews). Okay, I tell myself (when trying to console myself), Not everyone will like this book. It’s okay. They don’t have to. That’s not what this is about. I don’t enjoy romance novels, right? So I can’t expect everyone to enjoy a book about serial killings. People have different tastes and preferences. It’s what makes this world an interesting place. What matters most is taking the shot. Carved in Stone might be a success for me, or it might fade into book oblivion along with the millions of others out there. Time will tell. But damn if I didn’t take my shot when I had it. And isn’t that the most important thing?
Now…I’m not encouraging anyone to take unnecessary risks. Stability isn’t a bad thing. But if we approach each situation with fear and lack, we never know what could have been. I think the greatest sadness in life is feeling regret for the things we never tried or achieved. My father used to say this to me: “A man on his deathbed never wishes he’d spent more hours at the office, Jule. He regrets the personal passions he never explored. He regrets the chances he never took.” My father worked long 12 to 14-hour days. This advice meant a lot coming from him. I tried to listen. “Win or lose”, he seemed to say, “take your shot.” You never know what could have been.
I’ve had a bad week. Undoubtedly. But does that mean it won’t lead to something good? I choose to believe that it will. That’s the difference. I’ll reframe it in my mind as an opportunity. And I won’t stop taking my shots. Not ever. I’ll examine this experience and extract the life lessons, and I’ll take them with me to the next opportunity.
Life ebbs and flows. We know that. It’s part of the human experience. The trick is returning to the “flow state” as quickly as you can. When experiencing an ebb, experience it. Draw from it what you can, and then swim upstream. Find the flow state. Take your shot.
This week’s challenge
Let’s take a page from Tim Ferriss’ book. Ponder a failure that later led you to a success. Can you think of one? Are you in the midst of one now? And did that failure seem hopeless at the time, only to morph into something that paid dividends later? If you’re in the midst of a devastating failure right now, do what you can to reframe it. Take a breath. You never know what’s just around the corner.
Click HERE to share your favorite failure on this site. Send it to me. I’ll share it with our community. 